What I Didn’t Realise About Perimenopause Until It Started Happening To Me

Lately I’ve been learning a lot about perimenopause because honestly nobody really talks about this stage properly and I think a lot of women end up thinking something is wrong with them like I did when actually our body is just changing.

Most people just say menopause like it's one thing but it's actually three stages. Premenopause is your normal years when everything is still cycling normally.

I've learnt perimenopause is the transition stage where hormones start fluctuating and this is where a lot of the changes start happening. Sleep can get weird, moods can shift, anxiety can appear out of nowhere, rage and irritability can increase, weight can change, motivation can drop, brain fog can creep in and sometimes you just don't feel like yourself. Menopause is when your periods have stopped for 12 months.

I honestly shouldn't be 43 and only just properly learning about this as I’m going through it, but I am. For the last five or six months I knew something wasn't quite right but I couldn't fully explain it. I didn't feel like I had the same mental clarity I normally have. I was losing words mid-sentence sometimes. Forgetting things I normally wouldn't. Having brain fog where I just didn't feel as sharp as I usually am.

For someone who runs programs, writes, performs, produces and juggles a lot mentally, that was actually quite scary. My sleep has been terrible. Some nights hardly sleeping. Waking up constantly. Feeling exhausted but my brain not switching off. Then trying to function the next day like everything was normal. Emotionally it was confusing too. Feeling lower than normal at times, then other times feeling irritated or frustrated quicker than I normally would be. Even moments of rage where afterwards I’d think where did that even come from? Not feeling as patient. Feeling overwhelmed easier. And that was hard because that isn't who I normally see myself as.

And to be honest, it impacted some of my relationships. I did lose a couple of relationships during that time because people didn't understand what I was going through and honestly I didn't either. When you don't understand it yourself it's hard to explain it to others.

What made it harder is I already live a very full life. Running programs, creating shows, writing, leading Maia Dreams, doing the podcast, managing everything I manage. Adding unexplained fatigue, emotional shifts and mental fog on top of that just made me feel like something was completely wrong with me.

Then I started noticing how many other women were talking about similar experiences. Over the last six weeks I've probably talked with more than 50 women and the same things kept coming up. Hot flushes. Sweating. Not sleeping. Depression. Anxiety. Relationship strain. Confidence taking hits. Feeling invisible. Feeling like they were changing and nobody was explaining why.

I've also been navigating the physical side of it. My body not always moving as easily as it used to. Weight fluctuations for a long time, going up and down depending on stress, sleep and emotions. Watching your face change, more wrinkles appearing, hair thinning a bit, and realising society starts treating you differently once you hit a certain age. It's like there's this unspoken shift where suddenly you're not seen the same way anymore.

And that's a lot to process when you're still the same person inside, still driven, still building things, still creating, still contributing.

Even just realising I was likely going through perimenopause gave me a bit more clarity. It helped me understand what I was experiencing instead of just thinking something was wrong with me. It gave me language for what I was feeling and helped me have more compassion for myself instead of just pushing harder.

I knew I needed to get my bloods done so I had them done about five weeks ago and my doctor's appointment to actually go through everything was finally today.

And today I actually started HRT support for the first time. Picked up my Estradot patches, progesterone, magnesium and zinc and I'm genuinely interested to see how supporting my hormones properly might help my sleep, mood, energy and just feeling more like myself again. Not because I'm "getting old", but because I'm learning to work with my body instead of just pushing through everything like I normally do.

One of the things I've been learning is just how many women actually go through this. Around 80 percent of women experience symptoms during perimenopause and menopause. I've also been learning that this stage can put real pressure on relationships and that divorce rates are highest between ages 45 and 55. When you start understanding the biological, emotional and mental load women are carrying during this time it actually makes a lot more sense why support and understanding matters so much.

This actually connects deeply with why I started my Life Rewritten 40 Plus podcast. Because I genuinely believe life after 40 isn't about decline. It's about rewriting what strength looks like. It's about understanding ourselves better, backing ourselves more and learning how to navigate this stage instead of feeling like we're falling apart.

I've even found myself writing about this and shaping parts of a show around these conversations because it's clearly something women need to talk about more. When you start hearing the same stories again and again you realise this isn't just individual struggle, it's something many of us are navigating quietly.

What I'm really learning through all of this is that sometimes understanding alone can bring relief. Just knowing you're not broken changes everything.

I also think more women need to talk about this because so many of us are trying to figure it out quietly. If you've suddenly felt more tired, more emotional, more reactive, not sleeping properly, feeling overwhelmed easier, getting irritated quicker, forgetting things, losing confidence or just feeling different in yourself, it might not be you.

It might just be perimenopause. And if you're going through it too, just know you're definitely not alone in it.