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A Map to a Woman's Beauty: ‘Passionately Failing Towards Success’.

Writer's picture: Kristyl NehoKristyl Neho

The one principle that means everything to me is knowing myself more than anyone else. There is power in loving every inch of who I am and what I can offer the world. Learning to not compare myself to others' expectations or their successes, not allowing my value to be placed on me by people who don’t see the best in what I do. I have learnt to never match my worth to the fickle and constant changes of the world’s beauty standards. I remember when I decided to lose weight 23 months ago that I was adamant to enjoy the journey and put no pressure on myself to be anything other than who I was. It has been an enjoyable journey and I have loved not being pressured. I have loose skin and I still love who I am. I fluctuate in weight and I still love who I am. I still have to work through how I could stop emotional eating and I still love myself. I still have a bit of weight to lose but I am not pressuring myself to do so. I learnt when I was 21 years old to know that I was beautiful and I have never doubted that. It is my job to see my own beauty and worth and not everyone else's responsibility. We must create and know our own Map to our own beauty externally and internally. The world's view of beauty has changed through time and it will continue to evolve. This is why we should create and adhere to our own sense of true beauty.


Here is a list of qualities that I think create True Beauty in a Woman

  1. Be interested in the world and others. Being self centered can isolate us from the world.

  2. Be passionate about the things you do

  3. Be optimistic to see the best in things. With the struggles in the world at the moment , be the light.

  4. Women who have a mission and move towards it.

  5. Being Elegant, strong and assured in who you are.

  6. Women who treat, think and speak to others with kindness and respect.

  7. It is beautiful to see women who know how to compose themselves and have great self-control. They don’t always have to attack everyone and everything that doesn’t agree with them.

  8. Women who have courage to love fully, to change themselves when necessary, to feel deeply, to leave love when it's scary and to chase their dreams

  9. Confident in who they are and how they behave.

  10. Women who are Deliberate. They know what they want in life because they are clear in saying what they want.

  11. Always be willing to learn and grow. They know that they don’t know everything and they are willing to learn.

  12. They don’t try to fit the mold and are willing to be themselves. Not comparing themselves to others.

  13. Don't need to dress, expose themselves for clout and value.

  14. Are genuinely happy with who they are.

Our Map to our own beauty needs to be created by ourselves. I love not living my life to fit in with the world. We can love ourselves at any age, any size, any colour and at any time. Here is a poem I wrote 5 years ago about creating my own Map to my inner Beauty.


A Map to a Woman's Beauty


Here stands before you a map of me that I make pretty clear to see.

If you see me, then hear me, then know me, you'll feel me and you'll be in no doubt of who I am.

For I do not have a itty bitty waist that may magically appear in a blink of an eye or a click of a finger or a tap of a toe

My fluffy sides, my squishy edges, and my soft curves cannot hide anything from the human eye

I have big hands, big feet, big legs, a big body, a big personality with a big voice that booms

My low seductively sultry womanly tones will never be confused for the high pitched angelic tones of a young girl.

My looks are not a magazine cover or photoshopped perfection but my eyes, these eyes the windows to my soul have a beauty etched deeper then temporary youthful popularity.

I have a heart that pulsates outside of my chest calling out to welcome in the world.

For every part of me has a distinct reflection of a strong, grounded, powerful, mana wahine with a heart that beats deeply.

My walk so intentional that when I move, my body slices through the air with unbridled power.

Loving every inch of my tinana, my body for all of its glorious form and shape. For isn't that far better, then to look at my tinana in disgust as if I should be repulsed at the sight of me. For I am not!

God given, these curves this form has created life. Held life so preciously within my womb within in me.

What greater experience than to create life within the shapely form of a woman's beauty.

My scars, my eyes, my body, my voice, my mind are all a map of my inner beauty.

There is no need to question who you see when you look at me. For I am a woman's beauty.

For as a mother my taonga, my gift to my tamahine, my daughter is to teach her to accept and love herself, give herself all the aroha and love that she has the capacity to create within herself and for her to see her map to her own inner beauty.

And I will continue to accept every inch of who I am for that is the true essence of a map to a woman's beauty.







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